"My Mom Followed Me, So I Made a Second Account"...Middle School Daughter Storms Out After Smartphone Confiscation [Teens Immersed in SNS] ①

9 Out of 10 Children Own a Smartphone
Parents: "We Scold Children for Using SNS at Night"
Children: "No Time to Meet Friends... SNS Is Essential"

Editor's NoteWe now live in an era where 9 out of 10 high school students use social networking services (SNS). However, society's response to adolescents' SNS usage remains inadequate. While parents worry that SNS may lead to school violence and crime, children say that, amid their hectic daily routines, it is impossible to form peer relationships without SNS. The Asia Business Daily examines this gap and explores solutions that our society should consider.

Choi (49, female) is in a daily battle with her eighth-grade daughter over social networking services (SNS). Last year, she became angry when her daughter stayed up late scrolling through Instagram and took away her smartphone. In response, her daughter stormed out and stayed in the apartment emergency stairwell until 3 a.m. before returning home. Since then, Choi has not been able to take her daughter's phone away, only engaging in frequent arguments. Choi said, "I have talked to my daughter about the negative effects of SNS, but she doesn't listen. I can't take her phone away again and can't find a solution, so I feel frustrated. The war is ongoing."

Google Gemini generated image.

According to the Korea Press Foundation's "Teenage Media Usage Survey," as of last year, 70.1% of 2,674 students in grades 4-6 of elementary school and middle and high schools nationwide reported using SNS. In previous surveys, the rates were 66% in 2016, 64.7% in 2019, and 78.1% in 2022. The higher the grade, the higher the SNS usage rate: 36% of students in grades 4-6 of elementary school said they use SNS, compared to 82.9% of middle school students and 92.7% of high school students. Among middle school students, 62.3% use SNS every day, and among high school students, the figure is 69.3%.

The problem lies in the perception gap between parents and children regarding SNS usage. Parents want to restrict their children's use of SNS, but children want to keep using it. Among adolescents, 71.2% said they use SNS because there is a wide variety of entertaining content, and 67.3% said they use it to communicate with peers or others, showing a generally positive attitude toward SNS.

Conflicts between parents and children over SNS usage often begin as early as the second or third grade of elementary school. According to the "2024 Child Happiness Index In-Depth Analysis" report, which surveyed 1,287 students from grade 4 of elementary school to grade 2 of high school and their 1,287 guardians, the average age at which Korean adolescents first receive a smartphone is 9.4 years old. While 77.9% of parents said they bought a smartphone "to keep in touch with their child," many parents find their children's SNS usage to be a source of stress.

Parents commonly say that SNS has reduced family conversations. Seo (50, male) complained that his son, a high school sophomore, never comes out of his room since he started using SNS. While his son does not post videos or photos on his Instagram feed, Seo often sees him watching short-form content like Reels or chatting with friends. Seo has repeatedly nagged his son at restaurants to stop looking at SNS until the food arrives. He said, "It's impossible to completely ban SNS, so it's important to find a compromise," but added, "We argue every weekend when my son wants to spend more time on SNS. I've also caught him secretly using it at night and scolded him."

Parents and Children Hold Divergent Views: "Worried About Getting Into Trouble" vs. "Need to Meet Friends"

The reason parents are wary of their children's SNS usage is that they cannot know exactly what their children are doing on these platforms. Even if they restrict the use of certain applications or use smartphone features to block late-night usage, they still do not know which SNS posts their children have seen or whom they have contacted. Out of curiosity about her daughter's daily life, which seemed to consist solely of looking at her phone, Choi followed her daughter's Instagram account. In response, her daughter immediately created a secondary account to hide her private life.

Choi said, "When I ask my daughter what she's doing on her phone, she reacts negatively. There is a lot of fake news and provocative information on SNS, and I am not sure if children can filter it out." Seo also said, "I was surprised when my younger son, who is in fifth grade, used slang like 'Himsumjin' (a person who hides their strength) and 'Ilko' (pretending to be an ordinary person) in front of adults without hesitation. It seems like children are absorbing negative language habits from SNS without filtering them."

Another reason parents are concerned is the potential for SNS to lead to school violence. According to the Ministry of Education's first 2025 school violence survey, cyberbullying accounted for 7.8% of all school violence cases. The rate was 6.9% in 2023 and 7.4% in 2024, showing an upward trend each year. The Ministry of Education stated, "As smartphones and SNS usage have become daily routines for students, we are seeing an increase in cyberbullying. Not only schools, but society as a whole, must combine efforts to prevent and respond to cyberbullying."

Parents agreed with this trend. Choi complained that last year, her daughter faced difficulties in her friendships through SNS. Her daughter's friends created a group chat on SNS and excluded her. Choi said, "My daughter cried and said it was hard to maintain friendships even on SNS. But it is very difficult for parents to intervene. My daughter warned that if parents bring up incidents that happened on SNS, she would be even more ostracized at school."

Children say that, in their daily routines of going back and forth between school and private academies, they cannot make friends without SNS. Yoon (17), who joined Instagram in 2022, said, "I spend about three to four hours a day on SNS, mostly chatting with friends or watching Instagram Reels, which are short-form videos. Since I don't have much time to go out with friends for sports or fun, most of our conversations revolve around SNS content."

Experts advise that a culture of parents educating their children about SNS usage needs to take root. Yoo Hyunjae, Professor of Communication at Sogang University, said, "It is necessary to establish a culture where parents accurately inform their children of the harms of SNS. There has been much discussion about sanctions such as blocking SNS access, but there has never been a public debate on how children and adolescents should use SNS. Even now, we need a multifaceted approach to resolve related issues."