Sending His Wife Away Through Toraja Reconciliation Ritual in Indonesia
A Cow and 430,000 Won in Cash as Symbolic Compensation
A story from Indonesia has gained attention after a man, upon witnessing his wife's infidelity, chose to peacefully end their relationship through a traditional ritual instead of reacting with anger.
On October 17, Hong Kong's South China Morning Post (SCMP), CNN-News18, and other outlets reported the story of a man, referred to as Mr. A, who lives in Puodombi village, Konawe Regency, on the southern Indonesian island of Sulawesi.
Mr. A discovered his wife, Ms. B, was having an affair five years into their marriage. In September, he personally witnessed his wife with Mr. C, an employee at a nearby mining company. During a police investigation, both admitted to the affair.
However, instead of pursuing criminal charges, Mr. A chose tradition and community harmony. He approached village elders to request the Toraja tribe's traditional reconciliation ritual, known as "Mowea Sarapu." This ceremony, meaning "let go and achieve peace," reflects the tribe's centuries-old belief that marital conflict or betrayal can bring misfortune upon the entire community.
On the day of the ritual, relatives, residents, and elders gathered in the village square. Mr. A and Ms. B apologized to each other, after which the man involved in the affair, Mr. C, offered compensation. In accordance with Toraja custom, he presented Mr. A with one cow, a piece of traditional cloth, a copper bowl, and 5 million rupiah in cash (about 430,000 won). This was not a simple transaction, but a symbolic procedure to formally end the relationship and restore balance within the community.
Video footage from the event shows Mr. A in tears, holding Mr. C's shoulder and saying, "Please take good care of her. Do not hurt her. She was not happy when she was with me." The two men then shook hands to conclude the ritual.
In Toraja society, it is not explicitly forbidden for a woman to undergo this ritual more than once. However, if she commits adultery again, it is said that her entire family must bear shame and criticism.
The village chief declared that both parties had accepted the situation as fate and learned lessons from each other, officially announcing the dissolution of the marriage. The elders explained, "While this ritual may appear to be a transaction involving women, in reality, it is intended to restore moral order and maintain peace within the community."
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