Compatibility of Values Matters More Than Money
"Money Is Both a Symbol and the Result of Mindset"
High-Income Women Are Not "Picky" But "Self-Protective"
Joanne Peng, a 46-year-old business development manager in Singapore, earns 18,000 Singapore dollars (approximately 1.8 million won) per month, but she has never met a man who is more financially successful than she is. Peng says, "I thought it was fine as long as I was financially stable and the man didn't expect money from me." She has never asked her husband how much he earns, but she estimates that he probably made about 30 to 50 percent less than she did.
However, as time went by, she found herself losing her "feminine side" within the relationship. By prioritizing practical matters, her emotional needs were pushed aside, and eventually, the love faded. Psychologist Aloysius Tay pointed out, "When one partner shoulders most of the financial burden, emotional exhaustion can occur. Women, in particular, face greater pressure as they are expected to be both strong providers and caring partners within social expectations."
Compatibility of Values Matters More Than Money
On August 12 (local time), Singaporean broadcaster CNA News reported on the experiences of high-income women regarding money, love, and relationships. According to the report, Jessica Lim (41, communications manager), who has lived with her partner for 23 years, believes that "financial values" are more important than economic success. She said, "Our attitudes toward spending and saving have to be similar. Although there is a difference in our salaries, my husband and I are financially compatible. During uncertain times, my husband's stable income supports me." Amy Ang (35), who works in finance, said, "Even if a man earns less, I want someone who provides emotional security. It's not acceptable if the income gap is so large that it would change our standard of living, but as long as he has a financial plan and lives within his means, that's fine." Psychologist Tay emphasized, "The success of a relationship depends more on mutual respect, emotional intelligence, and shared values than on income structure. The key is to share responsibility and power, and to acknowledge each other's contributions."
"Money Is Both a Symbol and the Result of Mindset"
Recently divorced, Peng said that in her next relationship, she wants to meet a man who is at her level or even more financially successful than she is. Peng explained, "I don't need a man's money, but I do need a man who has money. Money is also the result of effort, career, and an attitude that understands anxiety about the future." For her, money is not simply a symbol of security, power, or pride, but an indicator of a partner's mindset?whether he can effectively participate in the relationship.
High-Income Women Are Not "Picky" But "Self-Protective"
While the expectation of "marrying up" remains strong in Singapore, experts say that high-income women should be understood as being self-protective rather than picky. Psychologist Tay analyzed, "Some women feel that their own success makes them less attractive in the dating market. They believe that being with a less successful man could lead to the man's insecurity harming the relationship."
However, the reality is not that simple. Dating coach Hayley Quinn said, "It's not that men dislike successful women, it's just that it's not their top priority. The right relationship offers support and stability for achieving goals." Psychologist Tay added, "Success is not a punishment. It only becomes one depending on how men, women, and society choose to perceive it."
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