[Book Excerpt] Not Working or Playing Is Not "Rest"... You Need to Broaden Your Sense of Positivity

Editor's NoteSome sentences encapsulate the entire content of a book, while others immediately resonate with readers and create a point of connection with the book. Here, we introduce such meaningful sentences excerpted from books.

The standards for rest vary from person to person. Some people gain energy when they are passionately immersed in something, while others need to reduce all their senses to 'zero' and let a certain amount of time pass in order to recharge. As a result, there are significant differences in the sense of fulfillment from rest and in overall life satisfaction. Kim Eunyoung, a professor of psychiatry at Seoul National University, explains that the strength of one's "ability to play and rest" determines how solidly one can maintain daily life. Those with strong abilities in this area manage daily stress appropriately and balance periods of concentration and rest. On the other hand, those with weaker abilities cannot suppress their psychological burdens and are unable to relax even during breaks. The author argues that we must develop our "ability to play and rest" and introduces methods for doing so.

Surprisingly, many people think of rest simply as "doing nothing." In reality, it is relatively easy to temporarily stop what one is doing. In fact, many people find themselves unintentionally spending hours on social media, online news articles, or YouTube while at work. Then, they believe that since they "did not work and played," they have rested enough. (...) But let's consider this: after spending time this way, have you truly experienced the sensation of comfortable rest in both body and mind? Unfortunately, most of the office workers and students I have met did not feel satisfied by making good use of short breaks; instead, they regretted wasting time unproductively and not being able to focus on work. (...) Those who struggle to rest properly do not face this problem because they are physically unable to stop working. Rather, it is because they do not know how to recover their bodies and minds in an autonomous and active way. <pp. 48-49>

Only you can know what kind of rest is effective for you. You can truly enjoy the sensation of rest only by paying attention to the feelings and emotions that arise deep inside your body and mind. The only person who can be the designer of your rest is yourself. To achieve proper rest, it is more important to be curious about yourself and pay attention to the feelings and sensations that arise in both big and small moments of daily life, rather than focusing on external conditions such as the cost of activities, social abilities, or environment. <pp. 58-59>

So, how can we develop the ability to enjoy life? Many people today are more accustomed to focusing on inner pain, fear, and shame, and to avoiding such emotions, rather than seeking out situations that make them feel good or concentrating on pleasant sensations to create a joyful life. In order to experience joy, it is just as important to expand and strengthen positive emotions as it is to try to eliminate negative ones. <p. 98>

Questions such as "What small effort can I make tomorrow to increase moments of comfort and relaxation?", "What fills me with comfort and vitality?", or "If I have 10 minutes of rest, what can I do?" are future-oriented questions you can ask yourself. Even if you do not have a clear answer right away, thinking deeply about these topics can help you imagine various possibilities. By consistently asking yourself such good questions, you can gain ideas and courage to attempt change, and move toward positive life changes. <p. 112>

The ability to play and rest is the power to enjoy everything from heightened excitement and joy to deep and quiet comfort. It becomes a strong foundation for resilience, enabling you to respond quickly and flexibly to stress and adapt to situations. When your mind is troubled and exhausted, comfort and care from others can be a great source of strength. However, the ability to bring yourself joy and vitality or to let go and reach a state of calm when needed is even more powerful. There are limits to being with others, but you are always with "yourself," and ultimately, the only person who can care for you anywhere and anytime when needed is "yourself." <p. 239>

Why Can't I Rest with Peace of Mind | Written by Kim Eunyoung | Simsim | 354 pages | 19,800 KRW