[Inside Chodong] I Decided to Write My Own Obituary

Letting Go of Self-Assurance and Gaining an Objective Perspective
A Better Source of Motivation Than New Year's Resolutions

In the year 2025, Eulsa year (乙巳年), the sun is rising behind the 'Hands of Harmony' at Homigot, Pohang City, Gyeongbuk. Photo by Jo Yong-jun

As 2025 approaches, I decided to write my own obituary. In the past, at the start of each new year, I would carefully open the first page of a new diary and write down similar resolutions wishing for a peaceful year. Health was always the first priority, followed by exercise, lifelong learning, and various hobbies for a happy life?these occupied the first page of the diary. However, the heartfelt records made on New Year's Day usually lasted only about a month and were soon buried under hastily scribbled notes from interviews. Some resolutions were never even attempted and simply moved to the next year's diary. This is why I chose to write an obituary instead of New Year's resolutions this year. When standing again at the starting point but unable to find anything special in this beginning, and when the initial intention no longer feels like the original intention, I felt it necessary to look back at the present from the finish line.

James R. Haggerty, a Wall Street Journal obituary specialist, encouraged readers in his book And So Life Becomes a Story to write their own obituaries. He suggested entrusting your story to the person who knows it best (which is yourself). He said this could also serve as good motivation for your current life. The method is as follows: "Summarize the history of your life while richly including stories that best reveal you and your life." In particular, Haggerty advised focusing on what you wanted to achieve in life, why you wanted it, and whether you accomplished your goals.

Writing my own obituary made me see from a big-picture perspective where I currently stand in life. To find the core values that run through my life, it was necessary to closely examine memorable events from my past. James Haggerty said that if life were a mural, you need to look at it both from afar and up close. To find patterns or meanings in that mural, you must step back a few steps, but at some point, no matter how boring it may seem, you have to look closely at the basic details.

This was definitely more effective than listing New Year's resolutions without context about what I must do and what I want to do. It allowed me to more sensorially contemplate "What do I want to achieve?" However, the more I think about it, the more the content keeps changing. My obituary writing is still a work in progress. The same applies if you don’t like the trajectory of your life traced from the end through the beginning to the present. You can rewrite your life story starting now. This is a task only someone who knows how the story has been written so far can do. In that sense, James Haggerty said, "It’s not too late yet."

We haven’t even properly closed the unusually turbulent past year, yet January of this year has already arrived, and two-thirds of it has passed. But there is no need to be sad. We have a second chance called Lunar New Year’s Day. If your initial enthusiasm has faded, writing your obituary while reflecting on your life from the present moment is one way to go. Just in time, the "second New Year" is approaching. As you welcome the new year, look back on your past life, gently acknowledge the good parts, and frankly reflect on the shameful parts. However, when doing this, it is necessary to let go of self-assurance and observe yourself objectively. Only when you look at yourself from afar and up close with an objective eye can you firmly grasp the future as if reaffirming your original intention.