Avoiding Family Pressure, Friendship Marriage
Agreeing to Marry Without Romantic Feelings
"Receiving Policy Benefits Is an Advantage"
In Japan, a story about two LGBTQ+ individuals choosing a "friendship marriage" is gaining attention. They are not sexually attracted to each other and, naturally, have no romantic feelings. So why did these two decide to live as a married couple for life?
On the 19th (local time), the Japanese personal finance media outlet "The Gold Online" introduced the story of a 30-something LGBTQ+ "friendship" couple. They responded to the interview using the pseudonyms Minato and Satsuki. Their gender identities (male or female) were not disclosed.
One is bisexual, and the other is asexual. Minato has dated both women and men, while Satsuki reportedly does not feel sexual desire for others. Because of this, although they are legally married, they have never had a sexual relationship.
The reason they entered into a friendship marriage is said to be due to pressure from both sets of parents to marry. Satsuki said, "My mother pressured me, asking if there was anyone good around," and added, "I just wanted to silence the family's marriage demands quickly."
The background behind their decision to pursue a friendship marriage amid family and relative pressure was inspired by a popular drama. It was the 2016 Japanese TBS drama "Nigeru wa Haji da ga Yaku ni Tatsu" ("We Married as a Job"). The drama depicted a single office worker man entering into a "contract marriage" with an unemployed woman, and it gained near-syndrome-level popularity in Japan at the time.
Minato and Satsuki were inspired by the contract marriage in the drama. After meeting each other on an internet forum, they "agreed" to marry. Their married life is reported to be very harmonious. They said, "Because we don't demand or expect anything from each other, we don't fight, and we just live our own lives as usual."
The 2016 Japanese drama "Nigeru wa Haji da ga Yaku ni Tatsu" depicts the story of a man and woman who marry strictly based on a contractual relationship. Screenshot from an online community
Meanwhile, recently in Japan, the number of people seeking "friendship marriages" like Minato and Satsuki is increasing. The Japanese friendship marriage specialist company "Colorus" analyzed that about 1% of the total population of approximately 124 million are considering friendship marriage. Colorus is Japan's first friendship marriage specialized agency, founded in March 2015, and currently has about 500 members.
Unlike typical marriages, friendship marriage means "a cohabiting relationship based on shared interests and values." They do not pursue love or sexual relationships between spouses. However, there are cases where children are born through artificial insemination. Minato and Satsuki are also known to already have children.
Friendship marriage is especially popular among asexual and homosexual individuals. According to Colorus, the average age of those seeking friendship marriage is 32.5 years old, 85% hold a bachelor's degree or higher, and their income exceeds the national average. Colorus emphasizes, "Friendship marriages sometimes end in divorce," but also highlights that "the advantages include access to policy benefits available to married couples and the ability to enjoy partnership rights."
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