"When Will You Come, Myeoneul?"... Divorced Woman Reflects on Top Chuseok Stress

Survey of 528 Divorced Men and Women
Women Say "When Are You Coming?" & Men Say "Chuseok Plans" as Top Responses
Remarriage Agency Says "Attitude of Respecting Partner Needed"

On the 9th, ahead of the major national holiday Chuseok, a KTX train is departing from Seoul Station with passengers heading to their destinations. Photo by Jinhyung Kang aymsdream@

As the Chuseok holiday approaches, divorced women (those who have experienced divorce and returned to being single) reported that the biggest stress during their marriage was "when the mother-in-law asked when she would visit."

On the 9th, remarriage information company OnlyU and marriage information company Bienarae announced the results of a survey conducted on 528 divorced men and women (264 men and 264 women) titled "When did you start feeling stressed as Chuseok approached during your marriage with your ex-spouse?" According to the results, 28.0% of female respondents answered "when the mother-in-law asked when she would come," while 27.3% of male respondents said "when making Chuseok plans with my wife," ranking first for each gender.

Following that, women answered in order: "when making Chuseok plans with my husband (24.2%)," "when preparing ceremonial food (22.0%)," and "when Chuseok news appeared on broadcasts (18.6%)." Men responded in order: "when road conditions for returning home were reported (23.5%)," "when Chuseok news appeared on broadcasts (22.7%)," and "when preparing ceremonial food (17.4%)."

Additionally, in response to the question "Before divorcing your ex-spouse, when during Chuseok did your in-laws or your spouse's family celebrate?" the most common answer among women was "when they told me to stop coming over," at 35.2%. This was followed by "when the burden of preparing the ceremony was reduced (24.6%)," "when they especially treated me well (17.0%)," and "when they showed gratitude (14.5%)." On the other hand, men most frequently answered "when recognized for my abilities by my spouse's family," at 32.6%. This was followed by "when especially treated well (26.1%)," "when shown gratitude (23.1%)," and "when told to stop coming over (12.1%)."

Finally, in response to "During your marriage with your ex-spouse, who among the in-laws or spouse's family caused you the most stress during Chuseok?" women answered "mother-in-law (30.7%)" and "sister-in-law (27.7%)" as first and second. For men, the most common answers were "father-in-law (31.1%)" and "mother-in-law (24.6%)." Additionally, women cited "father-in-law (19.7%)" and "sister-in-law (15.2%)," while men mentioned "brother-in-law (21.2%)" and "sisters-in-law (16.3%)."

Regarding the survey, Son Dong-gyu, CEO of OnlyU, stated, "Chuseok is a representative holiday in Korea, and while middle-aged and older generations tend to uphold traditions, younger generations are less interested. It is necessary to respect each other's positions as much as possible so that the holiday is not burdensome."

Lee Kyung, General Manager of Bienarae, explained, "Men feel proud when their spouse's family praises them for promotions, transfers, or income increases related to their job. Women who want to leave their in-laws' house as soon as possible feel as if they could fly with joy when the mother-in-law says, 'You should stop coming over.'"