[Let's Live Backwards] Children Comparing Parents' Salaries... A Classroom Where Unhappiness Grows

②'Depressed Children' from Endless Comparisons
Materialism of Adults Transferred As Is
Leading to Stress in Friendships

"Not long ago, I bought hamburgers for my child, who is in the 3rd grade of elementary school, and their friends, but I was shocked when they started asking about each other's parents' annual income. They even said our family was 'geumsujeo' (gold spoon) because we all switched to iPhones at home." (A parent from Seoul)

Recently, among teenagers, material comparisons such as parents' annual income, overseas travel, residence, and foreign cars are happening casually. Peer relationship stress in teenagers increases self-blame and, in severe cases, can lead to depression, self-harm, and suicide. Experts point out that to eliminate discriminatory culture in classrooms, proper parental guidance and improvements in social awareness are necessary.

[Let's Live Backwards] Children Comparing Parents' Salaries... A Classroom Where Unhappiness Grows

The photo is not directly related to the article. [Image source=Yonhap News]

About 70,000 Teenagers with Depression

According to the Health Insurance Review & Assessment Service on the 23rd, the number of teenage patients receiving medical treatment for depression steadily increased every year from 43,586 in 2018 to 49,154 in 2019, 49,732 in 2020, 57,705 in 2021, and 69,949 in 2022. As of 2022, by gender and 5-year age groups, males aged 10-14 numbered 5,290, and those aged 15-19 were 20,284; females aged 10-14 were 9,235, and those aged 15-19 were 35,140. Considering that some avoid hospitals due to concerns about social stigma, the actual number of teenagers experiencing depression is likely higher.

Attempts of self-harm and suicide among teenagers have also surged over several years. According to the 'Emergency Room Visits for Self-Harm and Suicide Attempts' report by the National Medical Center and Central Emergency Medical Center, the rate per 100,000 population increased from 95.0 cases in 2018 to 160.5 cases in 2022, a 68.9% rise over five years. This is about six times higher than the overall increase rate of 11.8% for all self-harm and suicide attempts.

The reasons why teenagers feel depressed at school are easy to find. Now, even parents' wealth has become a source of pride for children. Unlike in the past, perfect attendance is viewed negatively. The term 'gaegeungeoji' (perfect attendance poor kid) refers to children who cannot go on overseas trips due to financial difficulties and instead take off-campus experiential learning. Terms like 'jugo' (public apartment poor), 'hyugo' (Humansia poor), 'Elsa' (LH poor), 'bilgeo' (villa poor), and 'bangeo' (semi-basement poor), which were once controversial, are also forms of hateful expressions in classrooms.

A parent from Daegu sighed, "In our days, receiving a perfect attendance award was considered great, but times have changed. I was shocked to hear that the term 'gaegeungeoji' exists." A parent from Gyeongsan, Gyeongbuk, said, "When the mother picks up the child, the kids brag that 'we’re going camping tomorrow, so we won’t go to school.'" Parents even report that some change to foreign cars just to avoid their children feeling inferior when being dropped off at school.

Main Causes: Interpersonal Relationships and Maladaptation

Recent studies point out that social factors such as interpersonal relationships and maladaptation at school increase the risk of suicide among teenagers. Adolescence is a period when belonging to peer groups is important, and evaluations by others, feelings of alienation, and exclusion can cause significant stress. Unlike adults who have judgment and decision-making abilities, teenagers experience various psychological changes. If they have no proper place to express their emotions and cannot regulate negative feelings, they may suffer from depression and have thoughts of self-harm or suicide.

The study "Relationship between Peer Relationship Stress and Non-Suicidal Self-Injury in Adolescents" (Park Young-soon, Assistant Professor at Silla University Graduate School of Education, 2023) conducted an online survey of 288 adolescents aged 13 to 18 with self-harm experience from six middle and high schools in City A, followed by basic statistical analysis and mediation effect modeling. Self-harm is the intentional damage to one's body and is considered a strong predictor of suicide.

According to the study, self-blame showed a high correlation with self-harm, and peer relationship stress influenced self-harm mediated by self-blame. This was analyzed as due to adolescents' weak ability to cope with negative emotions and a faulty cognitive process of self-hatred and self-punishment.

Another paper, "Depression, Anxiety, and the Moderating Effect of Friend Relationships on Suicidal Thoughts, Plans, and Attempts among Adolescents and Socio-Demographic Factors" (Son Byung-duk, Professor at Chongshin University, 2023), conducted a survey of 314 elementary, middle, and high school students in City B who experienced school maladaptation and academic dropout, and performed multiple regression analysis on the effects of depression, anxiety, and friend relationships on adolescent suicide.

The explanatory power of the cohabiting family variable in step 1 was 13.1%. When depression and anxiety were added in step 2, it increased to 31.8%, and with the addition of friend relationship factors in step 3, it rose to 33.9%. The results suggest the need for policies and programs to improve peer relationships among teenagers across school, family, and society, thereby fostering healthy mental development and creating an environment that reduces suicide risk.

Professor Kwak Geum-ju of Seoul National University’s Department of Psychology said, "Adolescence is an immature period, so they want to hide or reveal trivial things. They become especially sensitive about things they don’t want to talk about and can get hurt in friendships."

She added, "Children hear everything adults say carelessly, like annual income and apartment size. The excessive materialism and hierarchy culture of our society are directly transmitted to children. Overseas, private questions are never asked, and if they are, the person is considered rude and immature. Parents need to make efforts, and the overall social culture must change," she advised.

※ If you have difficult feelings such as depression or know someone in your family or circle experiencing such difficulties, you can receive 24-hour expert counseling by calling the suicide prevention hotline ☎109.