Criticism from Netizens on Husband's Opinion to "Live with Mother-in-Law"
Controversy Expected to Intensify as Society Ages Rapidly
A daughter-in-law’s story about having conflicts with her husband over placing her mother-in-law, who lives alone, in a nursing home has become a hot topic among netizens.
On the 30th, a post titled "Mother-in-law Nursing Home" was uploaded on an online community. The author, Ms. A, began by saying, "My mother-in-law is in her late 70s." She continued, "She has never been healthy and has frequently been ill since she was young," adding, "She has a brain tumor and has undergone several surgeries. She is currently hospitalized due to a brain disorder and has difficulty moving because of joint problems."
Ms. A currently lives an hour away from her mother-in-law’s house, and her husband, the eldest son, often visits because the mother-in-law has difficulty moving and needs to go to the hospital frequently. Ms. A said that her mother-in-law treats her condescendingly, making it hard to get along with her. The bigger issue is that recently, her husband has been frequently bringing up the topic of taking care of his mother.
When Ms. A said, "Then she should go to a nursing home," her husband refused, saying, "I am the eldest son, and my mother is still relatively young and mentally sound. A nursing home is absolutely out of the question. I can’t send her there. It feels like a modern-day Goryeo Jang (a traditional practice of abandoning elderly parents)." When Ms. A asked, "Then is there another way?" her husband mentioned, "My great aunt married the eldest son and cared for my maternal grandfather (mother-in-law’s father) alone for 20 years." Ms. A added that after her grandfather developed dementia and her great aunt suffered from depression, they finally sent him to a nursing home.
Her husband also said, "Having seen this, my mother probably thinks that the eldest son should take care of his sick parents. Our family is conservative, so it’s right for the eldest son to take responsibility." Ms. A conveyed her husband’s wish to bring the mother-in-law closer to take care of her more often but honestly admitted, "From my perspective, it doesn’t seem like my mother-in-law is incapable of living alone. Even if she were, I don’t think I can handle taking care of her while both of us work."
She continued, "The talk about moving in together keeps coming up, and when I say moving is hard, I get sensitive. Honestly, if it’s really difficult, isn’t sending her to a nursing home the right, albeit harsh, choice? She’s almost 80, so why is it considered too early? Her mind is clear, but if she needs care, does that mean she can’t go to a nursing home?" she asked netizens.
The article received explosive attention from netizens, garnering approximately 100,000 views. [Photo source=Online community 'Nate Pann']
The post received explosive attention, with about 100,000 views. Many netizens empathized with Ms. A’s story, commenting things like, "The husband should pack up and live with his mother," "That filial son should take his mother in," "Prepare for divorce. Either divorce or send the husband to live with his mother. Live as a weekend couple," "In reverse situations, sons-in-law don’t do anything," "Is a nursing home really a bad place? There are many good ones," and "So you have to take care of her until she gets depression?"
According to Statistics Korea, as of 2022, the elderly population aged 65 and over in South Korea reached 9.018 million, accounting for 17.5% of the total population. In terms of growth trends, the elderly population is expected to exceed 10 million by 2024. [Photo by Pixabay]
Meanwhile, according to Statistics Korea, as of 2022, the elderly population aged 65 and over in South Korea reached 9.018 million, accounting for 17.5% of the total population. The trend suggests that by 2024, the elderly population will exceed 10 million. By 2025, the elderly population ratio is expected to rise to 20.3%, entering a super-aged society.
Accordingly, the domestic senior care market is experiencing remarkable growth. The market size, which was 8 trillion won in 2018, increased to 14.5 trillion won in 2022. The number of users also rose from 1.036 million to 1.673 million during the same period, recording an average annual growth rate of 12.7%. In particular, as the first baby boomer generation will all be included in the elderly population by 2028, they are expected to actively enter the senior care market.
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