"The Filial Duty You Couldn't Fulfill, Why Are You Asking Me? Holiday Stress Among Divorced Singles"

Stress in Marriage According to Divorced Singles
Men: "Scheduling with Ex-Wife"... Women: "In-Laws Visiting"
Few Responded "Let's Spend Separately" if Remarrying

Men who are "returned singles (dolsing)" identified "coordinating schedules with their wives" as the biggest stress during Chuseok while married to their ex-spouses, whereas women pointed to "meeting the husband's family" as the main stressor.

[Image source=Pixabay]

On the 25th, Only-U, a remarriage-specialized matchmaking company, conducted a survey on the theme of "stress related to Chuseok during marriage with an ex-spouse and desirable ways to spend Chuseok after remarriage."

In response to the first question, "What caused you the most stress related to Chuseok during your marriage with your ex-spouse?", 30.5% of men chose "coordinating schedules with their wives," and 29.3% of women chose "meeting the husband's family," each representing the highest proportion.

Following that, men ranked "traveling (23.9%)" and "meeting the wife's family (20.5%)" as second and third, while women ranked "food preparation (24.3%)" and "coordinating schedules with their husbands (23.2%)" as second and third, respectively.

Both men and women selected "financial burden (men 18.5%, women 15.1%)" as the fourth most stressful factor.

Son Dong-gyu, CEO of Only-U, explained, "In the past, women were forced to sacrifice during holidays like Chuseok, but as social attitudes have changed, women have started to resist. With more women avoiding visits to their in-laws or preferring to visit their own parents first during Chuseok, it has become very difficult for men to coordinate holiday schedules with their wives."

For the second question, "What caused the most disputes with your spouse related to Chuseok during your marriage with your ex-spouse?", the highest responses were "whether to visit the spouse's family (men 31.3%, women 29.7%)" and "time spent at each family’s home (men 28.1%, women 33.2%)."

For third place and below, both men and women answered "level of gifts exchanged between families (men 23.2%, women 22.0%)" and "order of visiting families (men 17.4%, women 15.1%)."

Lee Kyung, General Manager of Bienarae, stated, "As the patriarchal atmosphere declines and gender equality advances, the order within families is also being reorganized. Since transitional phenomena may occur until a new order is established, understanding and compromise between spouses are urgently required."

In response to the final question, "How would you like to spend Chuseok after remarriage?", 31.3% of men answered "each visiting their own parents' home only," while 36.3% of women answered "each doing as they please," representing the largest proportions.

Following that, men responded in order: ▲visiting both families (28.5%) ▲each doing as they please (25.1%) ▲spending it together as a vacation (15.1%). Women responded in order: ▲each visiting their own parents' home only (32.1%) ▲spending it together as a vacation (24.3%) ▲visiting both families (7.3%).

An Only-U official emphasized, "These days, the term 'proxy filial piety' is widely used and is considered a representative practice that must be eradicated. After remarriage, men and women should closely discuss these issues so that they no longer act as obstacles in married life."

Meanwhile, this survey was jointly conducted by Only-U and the matchmaking company Bienarae from the 18th to the 23rd, targeting 518 nationwide (twilight) remarriage hopeful dolsing men and women (259 men and 259 women) via email and phone.