Diverging Opinions on a Story in a Community
A story about an office worker who is unsure whether to send condolence money after a friend who did not give a wedding gift informed them of their mother’s passing has become a hot topic online.
On the 30th, an anonymous post titled "Should I give condolence money even though I didn’t receive a wedding gift?" was uploaded on the office worker community Blind.
The author introduced themselves as an ordinary office worker and explained the situation: "One friend in a KakaoTalk group chat neither congratulated me nor gave a wedding gift when I got married," and "but now they posted a funeral announcement saying their mother passed away." They added, "Other friends said they sent condolence money, but I’m unsure if I should send some too."
They expressed their feelings, saying, "I thought about not sending it, but I feel it might be awkward when we meet at the next gathering, and if I don’t send condolence money, I feel like I’m the same kind of person as that friend. I’m not sure." They also mentioned, "If I do send condolence money, I’m thinking about around 50,000 won."
People who read this story shared various opinions.
Those advising to acknowledge the friend’s mother’s passing said, "Condolence money is different from wedding gifts; it makes you remember and support those who cared for you. I recommend sending it," "I don’t attend weddings, but I do attend funerals," and "If you pay 50,000 won and think that’s the level of your relationship with that friend, you’ll feel more at ease."
Others said, "Unlike celebrations, funerals should be acknowledged," and "Life cannot be explained by just give-and-take."
On the other hand, some expressed opposing views, saying, "There’s no need to bother," and "They didn’t care enough to acknowledge a big event like a wedding, so you don’t have to worry about it."
Some suggested, "Just send a message of sympathy in the group chat. That person probably knows they didn’t give a wedding gift, so they won’t be upset if you don’t send condolence money," and "Even if you send condolence money, you’ll keep feeling it’s a waste. It’s better to use the money where you need it."
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