"'Comparison Habit' and 'Inferiority Complex' Hinder Happiness"
What circumstances would prevent regret if singles who have divorced (dolsing) were to remarry?
A survey found that men tend not to regret if they think their new spouse is "better than their ex-spouse," while women tend not to regret if the new spouse "exceeds their expectations."
On the 17th, Only-U, a remarriage-specialized matchmaking company, jointly conducted an online and email survey with Vienarae (CEO Son Dong-gyu), a marriage information company, from the 10th to the 15th. The survey targeted 512 nationwide (twilight) remarriage hopeful dolsing men and women (256 men and 256 women) and asked about the "minimum conditions for a regret-free remarriage."
For this question, 33.2% of male respondents answered "better than the ex-spouse," the highest proportion. This was followed by "exceeds expectations (27.3%)," "no particular problems (23.5%)," and "better than living alone (16.0%)."
Among women, 35.2% answered "exceeds expectations," the highest share. Next were "better than living alone (28.5%)," "no particular problems (24.2%)," and "better than the ex-spouse (12.1%)."
Son Dong-gyu, CEO of Only-U, explained, "Many men passively experience divorce and thus feel some responsibility for the marriage breakdown. Because of this, they tend to be less demanding about remarriage conditions and feel fortunate if they meet someone better than their ex-spouse. On the other hand, dolsing women often have unpleasant memories of their first marriage, leading to various worries and concerns about remarriage. If they judge their remarriage partner to be better than expected, they feel reassured."
Ideal Remarriage Conditions? Men: 'Appearance that Makes Me Stand Out' vs Women: 'Perfectly Compatible Personality'
The second question asked about the "most important condition that must be met for an ideal remarriage."
Among men, 31.3% answered "appearance that makes me stand out," the highest proportion. This was followed by "perfectly compatible personality (26.2%)," "significantly younger partner (19.4%)," and "living without financial worries for life (18.0%)."
Among women, 29.3% answered "perfectly compatible personality." Next were "living without financial worries for life (26.2%)," "appearance that makes me stand out (21.1%)," and "respectable social status (17.2%)," showing a difference in opinions between men and women.
An Only-U representative explained, "Throughout history and cultures, most men dream of living with a beautiful woman. Women, after marriage, quickly realize that conflicts arise from differences in personality, values, and lifestyle attitudes. Therefore, for a harmonious married life, they recognize the importance of being perfectly compatible."
People Who Find It Hard to Be Happy No Matter Who They Meet? Men: 'Habit of Comparing' vs Women: 'Inferiority Complex'
Lastly, the question was, "What are the characteristics of people who find it hard to be happy with anyone in remarriage?"
Men answered "habit of comparing (26.2%)," "excessive desire (24.2%)," "negative thinking (22.3%)," and "inferiority complex (18.8%)."
Women answered "inferiority complex (28.9%)," "negative thinking (25.0%)," "jealousy (20.3%)," and "habit of comparing (17.2%)."
Lee Kyung, General Manager of Vienarae, said, "Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, and circumstances differ. When a wife compares specific issues, especially shortcomings, with acquaintances, it is hard for the husband to understand. For women, the husband should be an ally and a protective barrier. If the man lacks self-esteem and shows irritability without reason due to inferiority complex, the wife questions why she got married."
Finally, CEO Son Dong-gyu added, "When remarrying, people tend to be more cautious and attentive due to past failures in their first marriage. However, remarriage often involves more obstacles than the first marriage, so it is important to let go of excessive desires and choose a remarriage partner appropriate to one's own circumstances to avoid difficulties."
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