[Work Life Handbook] Have You Ever Said, "I Won't Join the Company Dinner"?

"Let's all go together" Senior's dinner gathering pressure
"I have plans" Can you declare 'absence'?

Editor's Note'Workplace' is where we spend the most time during the day. How do you spend your time there? Some people liken workplace life to a 'Go board' because of the many unexpected variables and the full range of human emotions involved. So, how can one succeed in workplace life? We have compiled the know-how in this Workplace Life Guide.

# Kim Seung-jin, who recently got promoted from assistant manager to manager, is preparing a company dinner for his new team members. In the KakaoTalk group chat, Kim said, "There will be a company-wide dinner next week, so please all attend." Then, the youngest employee replied, "Manager, I have plans to meet a friend that day. I will not attend." Kim raised his voice, saying, "Why skip the company dinner?" and urged, "Please attend as much as possible." After that, no one sent any messages in the chat room for a while, and a long silence followed.

Kim Seung-jin’s behavior reflects the stereotype of an authoritarian figure known as a 'kkondae' (a derogatory term for an old-fashioned, authoritarian person). However, at the department head level, some see Kim’s attitude positively, saying, "The juniors must really like him. Where else would you find a department head who cares like this?" On the other hand, from the perspective of the MZ generation and younger employees, it is acceptable to skip a company dinner if there is a prior engagement. Kim Hyung-seok (27), who works at a company, said, "I think it’s okay to skip company dinners," adding, "If a senior criticizes you for that, I would think they are someone who doesn’t understand."

Office workers are gathered, clinking their glasses. [Image source=Yonhap News]

The so-called 'workplace dinner conflicts' are also evident in survey results. According to a survey on workplace dinner culture conducted by the market research firm Embrain Trend Monitor (multiple responses allowed), the top reason for dissatisfaction with company dinners was "psychological burden of having to be with uncomfortable people," at 62.6%. Other reasons included △situations where one has to cater to the boss’s mood (53.9%) △invasion/interference with personal time (53.9%) △company dinners continuing into second and third rounds (45.7%) △pressure to drink alcohol (40.7%).

Additionally, the civic group 'Workplace Gapjil 119' commissioned the public opinion research firm Embrain Public to conduct a survey from March 17 to 23 targeting 1,000 workers about workplace harassment. The results showed that 43.0% of respondents said that workplace harassment has not decreased since the implementation of the Workplace Harassment Prohibition Act. One employee said, "A boss who values strict hierarchy forces us to drink alcohol at every company dinner," adding, "He orders us to follow work instructions without question and calls young employees who raise issues 'thoughtless 90s-borns.'"

[Image source=Yonhap News]

While conflicts over participation in company dinners arise among workers, some department heads view the so-called 'do as you’re told' style of work as a kind of romance. A worker in his mid-40s said, "Even if you call me a kkondae, I can’t help it, but back in the day, the spirit of 'do as you’re told' was good." He added, "Of course, it shouldn’t be enforced coercively, but I think of it as the 'thrill of getting the job done.' It felt good to accomplish a mission with the boss."

Younger workers also have their say. They do not automatically consider their bosses as kkondae. A worker in his early 30s said, "If the boss’s instructions are reasonable, of course, I can work happily," adding, "But instructions should be given during work hours, and unrealistic work orders should not be given."

Workplace Gapjil 119 listed 'Five Commandments for Workplace Bosses to Keep in Mind.' These are △Forget the old memories of 'do as you’re told' △Recognize that subordinates are not inferior but colleagues with different roles △Show respect in titles, words, and even a single line on social media △Do not make jokes that pressure employees about taking leave or leaving work on time △Pay close attention to whether any employee is being harassed.

But what should you do if you think your boss might penalize you for not attending a company dinner? A representative from Workplace Gapjil 119 pointed out, "Repeated forced drinking or ostracism and verbal abuse of workers who do not participate in company dinners constitute workplace harassment." They emphasized, "There are many cases where bosses use the excuse that company dinners are supposed to be comfortable gatherings to justify verbal abuse or sexual harassment, but this is also clear workplace harassment."