"Since we haven't registered the marriage, it's just a breakup," claim
Concerned writer "Disappointed by the attitude that it's no big deal"
After having a wedding ceremony but neither going on a honeymoon nor registering the marriage, should the separation be considered a broken engagement or a divorce? This question has sparked a variety of opinions among netizens.
On the 27th, an online community Nate Pann featured a post titled "Broken engagement vs. Divorce after having the ceremony and then breaking up."
The author, A, who introduced themselves as a person in their 30s working in an office, began, "I was recently introduced to someone, and the man said something ridiculous. Since we were at the age to think about marriage, we even talked about family backgrounds. It was a heavy topic for a first meeting, but I actually liked that he was serious."
A said, "He said he had a history of broken engagements. Actually, I also had a situation where we even had a formal meeting with the families but broke up, so I just thought, 'Broken engagements happen,' and took it lightly." He added, "But it wasn’t that they broke up while planning the wedding or discussing marriage; they had the ceremony but broke up before going on the honeymoon."
He continued, "The reason for the breakup was that they were supposed to go on the honeymoon the day after the wedding, so they were resting, but then he found out about financial problems on the other side and fought over it, which led to the breakup."
He confessed, "As soon as I heard that, I thought it wasn’t a broken engagement but a divorce. I thought to myself, 'What a waste of time.' I felt like going crazy because all the time spent getting ready, going to the meeting place, and talking was completely wasted."
He added, "No matter how decent the other person seemed, I had no intention of considering him as a remarriage candidate. More importantly, it was a huge flaw from my perspective, but he kept calling it a 'broken engagement.' Also, his attitude of trying to make it seem like a trivial matter after the breakup annoyed me."
He went on, "Moreover, before I could say anything, he started crying, saying he should have been more careful and that he felt pathetic and regretful, so I couldn’t say anything and just stayed silent," recounting the situation.
He said, "Since I didn’t say anything, he asked, 'Does my experience bother you?' I hated the fact that he was asking something so obvious, so I spoke honestly and got up."
On the 27th, an online community Nate Pann posted an article titled "Breaking up after the wedding ceremony: annulment vs. divorce." [Image source=Nate Pann]
Later, A shared that the other party contacted him, saying, "What really turned me off was his attitude of downplaying it as if it was nothing compared to a divorce, and his attempt to stop the conversation by getting choked up. I blocked him right after saying that it was because of that mindset of pretending not to know even though he clearly knew."
In conclusion, he said, "For me, that situation is not a broken engagement but a divorce," and asked netizens, "Don’t you think it’s a divorce too?"
In response, netizens commented, "It’s clean on paper, but socially they are already married, so it’s a divorce," and "Having a wedding means publicly announcing the marriage to friends, relatives, and acquaintances. Why would there be a saying that you don’t know until you enter the wedding hall? Marriage registration is legal recognition, but the wedding ceremony is a social announcement. There’s no grave without a reason. But breaking up right after the ceremony? That recklessness alone is a big flaw," among other reactions.
On the other hand, some netizens said, "It’s somewhere between divorce and broken engagement. Since they didn’t live as a married couple, calling it a divorce is a bit forced, but calling it a broken engagement is also ambiguous," and "I understand the author’s feelings, but objectively, it’s a broken engagement," in their comments.
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