[The Era of Non-Marriage] Would You Choose 'Non-Marriage' Even If IU and Park Bo-gum Proposed?

①Are You Really Choosing to Remain Single? Questions About You and Me
The Concept of Being Single Spreads in Academia Since the Early 2000s
Single Life, Society's Prejudice and Vague Admiration

Editor's NoteIn a world where marriage is not mandatory, encountering those who choose to remain single is no longer a strange experience. Who chooses to remain single, and why? The issue is not only society's biased views surrounding singlehood. There are also vague gazes that regard it as an object of admiration. We examine the pros and cons of the so-called 'single life.'

Mr. A, who advocates for singlehood (非婚, bihon). Recently, a quarrel with a friend has been bothering him. "You say you want to remain single? Isn't it because you haven't met a good person? Even if actor Park Bo-gum proposed, are you confident you'd still choose to remain single?" Mr. A got angry at his friend's question. Perhaps unable to control his emotions, harsh words slipped out.
On the way home, recalling that scene made Mr. A's feelings complicated. "If a really good man proposed, maybe I could get married after all." Dreaming of a single life, Mr. A was confused. "Am I really someone who wants to remain single, or not...?"

The 2020s can rightly be called the 'single era.' Among young people aged 19 to 34, 8 out of 10 have not married.

This is the result of a government survey conducted since July last year, involving face-to-face interviews with 15,000 young people. Among unmarried youth, 24.7% responded that they have no plans to marry. Those who said they have no plans to have children reached 36.7%. This reflects the changes of the times.

TV programs praising 'living alone' have become the most popular on terrestrial channels. It is an era when idols and influencers, who enjoy massive public popularity, declare their singlehood. Even 'single ceremonies' replacing weddings are becoming trendy. Some companies have introduced congratulatory bonuses for single employees.

However, the future of singlehood is not painted only in rosy colors. There are uncomfortable social views regarding adults of marriageable age choosing to remain single. The common sentiment among the parental generation is that if their child is over thirty, they should 'naturally' establish a family and have children. There is also criticism regarding the expansion of welfare benefits for single people. Another perspective criticizes those who declare singlehood but later marry, accusing them of 'not keeping their convictions.'

Some view those who have no choice but to live single?'involuntary singles'?as incapable individuals. The reality that the term 'unmarried' is being replaced by 'single' is also notable. Are people who have not married truly not adults yet? Such questions, which might have been encountered in dramas at some point, are closely related to the sentiments that exist in our society.

Even after choosing a single life, there remain hurdles to overcome. Questions about the 'authenticity of singlehood' continue from those around.

Park Bo-gum. Photo by Eungdabhara 1988

"Even if someone you admire like Park Bo-gum or IU proposes, are you really confident you'd choose to remain single?"
"Even if you experience a fateful love with someone who looks like Brad Pitt during a trip to Europe, can you maintain your singlehood?"
"Isn't singlehood ultimately just about enjoying a glamorous time? That kind of thinking spreading like a trend from mid-20s to mid-30s..."

Questions about whether one would remain single if an attractive, perhaps love-at-first-sight kind of person proposed are common. In reality, it is rare to receive proposals from Park Bo-gum or IU. But if someone asks like that, one might find themselves pondering at least once. "If that were the case, my answer would be...".

The answer could be Yes or No. Singlehood is not necessarily based on a firm conviction. It broadly refers to the 'currently unmarried state' for various reasons such as independence or bereavement, as well as the ideology of being a lifelong single who refuses marriage.

According to the 'Case Study for Developing Community Policies for Single Women in Gyeonggi Province' by the Gyeonggi Women's Family Research Institute, the term 'singlehood' was first used in 1998 at a single women's group of the Seoul Women's Hotline. This concept, which started from the recognition that 'marriage is a choice, not a necessity,' spread through feminists and reached academia in the early 2000s. It has come to encompass not only voluntary marriage refusal ('lifelong single') but also passive marriage refusal ('unmarried').

Professor Song Je-sook of the Department of Anthropology at the University of Toronto defined the meaning of singlehood in her book Living Alone as "not being obsessed with marriage." Jang Woo-jung, who conducted in-depth interviews with young people in Cheongju, diagnosed in her master's thesis The Causes of Singlehood among the Young Generation and Individualization as a Life Strategy that "most single young people show behaviors that cross the boundary between giving up or rejecting marriage and not doing so definitively."

While overly negative views of single people are problematic, there is also a perspective warning against consuming singlehood only as a glamorous single life. Mass media showcases celebrities living glamorous lives as single-person households and markets their lifestyles. However, many real single-person households live with housing insecurity and low income.

According to the 'Single-Person Household Survey' released by Seoul City last year, 30% of single-person households spend 25-30% of their monthly income on rent. 69.3% of single-person households fall below 100% of the median income. Statistics reveal that living alone does not necessarily mean living a wealthy life.

As singlehood has become a reality of our times, voices are rising to pay attention to their lives as well. One representative claim is the need for legal systems that include single people as a new family form. Laws such as the 'Life Partner Act,' which would allow people to be family without marriage, have been proposed in the National Assembly but have not led to substantive discussions.

Legislative Research Officer Heo Min-sook of the Health, Welfare, and Women’s Team at the Legislative Research Office stated, "As the social view that 'being alone is okay' becomes widespread, systems must be established to guarantee sufficient rights regardless of individual choices. The current system, which only provides benefits within the legal marriage framework, struggles to accommodate the diversity of life."