[Book Sip] It's Okay Not to Be a Good Person Anymore

Some sentences encapsulate the entire content of the book itself, while others instantly reach the reader's heart, creating a connection with the book. We introduce such meaningful sentences excerpted from the book. - Editor's note

The author made quite a large amount of money through investment at an early age and enjoyed a successful life as a so-called thriving entrepreneur through broadcasting and lectures. However, when realizing that material wealth does not guarantee happiness, the author began exploring the inner world through a special experience at a meditation gathering attended by chance. The more immersed in meditation, the deeper the inner thirst became, and eventually, over 13 years, traveling through various countries and meeting numerous masters, the author learned how to find true happiness. Currently, the author works on healing emotional pain. Through the book, the author conveys the teaching that "It's okay not to be a good person anymore."

I always had to show well to my family and pretend to be a good child. So being alone was the most comfortable. When I locked the door and stayed in my room, I could rest because I didn't have to look good to anyone. From the moment I stepped outside the room, I had to act like an actor on TV. I was an actor wearing a mask. p.17

On an empty stomach without even dinner, I drank 'soju' for the first time. I felt a sharp burning sensation from my throat to my chest. When I regained my senses and looked ahead, the ground was wavering up and down, and all the trees around were moving back and forth. My stomach was sore and stinging, but I felt good. Staggering and swaying, I found the dormitory where my classmates were and opened the door. I sat on the doorstep watching the kids happily chatting in groups. Then I started crying out loud and began my sorrowful lament. p.23

Three months later, a letter arrived at the boarding house in New Zealand. The senior expressed his feelings. We became a couple who frequently contacted each other like a long-distance relationship. I looked forward to returning to Korea and missed him a lot. About a year later, when I was about to return to Korea, I heard from a friend that the senior was getting married. I didn't want to believe it. I confirmed with him several times, but he only repeated, "It's not true." Even when I returned to Korea and confirmed the fact, he said no. The day before the wedding, he came to see me. "I'm getting married tomorrow. I'm sorry." p.35

Looking back at myself then, I was like a 'ssam-dak' (a fighting chicken). I was like a time bomb that would explode instantly if anyone touched me. I seemed like a person living with the mindset of 'I hope anyone picks a fight with me.' I got involved in physical fights in places unrelated to me, and fought with anyone as if I were a warrior woman. I seemed like a person who was afraid of nothing in the world. Gradually, I became a 'tough woman, rude woman.' I didn't want to become a 'tough woman' from the start. I wanted to be happy. To do that, I needed money, so I worked hard. p.68

Collected Sleeping Pills | Written by Jang Hyun-joo | 240 pages | Damda | 13,800 KRW