[SSG nudge Leadership] Planning to Marry at 35? 'Confident I Can Earn Money Until 70?'

Changwook Park, CEO of Korea Knowledge Leader Association (Secretary General of Daewoo World Management Research Association)

Recently, I attended the wedding of a senior colleague's son. The senior is over 70 years old, and it was the wedding of his eldest son, who married late. The groom was approaching 40 years old. Both the groom and bride have stable careers, so I felt relieved. Although a late marriage is a grateful event, it is worth considering if the appropriate time for marriage was deliberately ignored or given up on, only for feelings to change later, leading to this situation.

A passing thought came to mind. It was three years ago. Through the high school alumni page on the social networking service (SNS) Facebook, I connected with a junior who was about 30 years younger. Although we had never met in person, we had communicated while I helped with employment issues. Around the time he had just graduated from university and started working, during conversations among peers, he wrote, "I will get married at 35."

So I casually commented, "Junior! Are you confident you can keep earning money until you're 70?" He replied, "What do you mean?" I explained, "If you marry at 35, there is a high chance your children will also marry at 35. This is because, in Korean customs, parents usually take care of things at least until the marriage of their children. That means you need to be earning money until you are 35 plus your child's 35, which is 70, to make things go smoothly. I am now in my late 50s, but it is not easy, and I am not confident I can continue economic activities after 60."

I added a few points. This generation is likely to have dual incomes even after marriage. Parental support becomes crucial, especially after having a second child. But what if the parents of both families are over 70? It will obviously be difficult. I have lived such a life. I married at 29. Being the youngest in my family, my mother was over 70 when I had my first child. My wife's family was at a similar age. Even though my wife took care of the household diligently, everything was challenging.

This does not mean late marriage is bad. If you plan to marry, I recommend doing so in your late 20s. Fortunately, I often shared this thought with my two daughters, and the elder married at 29. The younger one's marriage also seems not far off. I am very grateful that my elder daughter is living smoothly after marriage. I hope people do not follow the trend of avoiding or postponing marriage. I also hope they avoid the trend of avoiding having children.

What is regrettable is that even among the baby boomer generation who are parents of today's youth, opinions differ sharply. We often argue and debate about this topic. Just the day before writing this, I saw a gathering of 5-6 friends where comments like "Now you should live together for 2-3 years before marrying" or "Children can be had by other means, whenever you want" were made. I assume these words come from the hardships of family life.

However, on the other hand, I often see such scenes in movies and dramas. It is a universal theme. The protagonist fights to the death against evil not because they are an avenger of justice, but because of their family and children. Even if divorced and outwardly the child belongs to someone else, the spirit is with their own child. The strength to overcome all adversity with a strong will to live lies in family?this is a simple truth. Having worked with people as my focus in my career and still observing from that perspective, I take a keen interest in marriage status, spousal survival, relationships, having children, and the timing of children's marriages. I often review related materials and reflect on these thoughts.

I am very curious about the junior I mentioned earlier. Our communication has now ceased.

Park Chang-wook, CEO of Korea Knowledge Leader Association (Secretary General of Daewoo World Management Research Association)

◆ What is 'Nudge Leadership'?

- 'Nudge Leadership' is about leading organizational or individual change not through coercive or directive methods, but through small and gentle interventions or motivation. It also involves improving human relationships through small changes in oneself, transforming into someone others want to follow. Ultimately, it breathes creativity and passion into organizations or relationships, creating new value and happiness.