[SSG nudge Leadership] "Son! Please Help Mom"

The Archetype of Korean-Style Nudge? The Restoration of Honorific Speech

Changwook Park, CEO of Korea Knowledge Leader Association (Secretary General of Daewoo World Management Research Association)

Earlier this year, I replaced the TV I used to watch at home. The screen is bigger and clearer, so it often catches my eye. On a channel where I binge-watch past dramas, I saw a scene from a historical drama that aired 20 years ago. The content is about Queen Insu speaking to her son during the reign of King Seongjong of the Joseon Dynasty, about 530 years ago. She says, "Thank you for your hard work, Your Majesty. From now on, this mother will be your strength," using the highest form of honorifics. It may sound natural since he was the supreme ruler of the country, but it was a typical example of proper parent-child conversation in traditional Korean etiquette within a respectable household.

These days, the drama "The World of the Married," which has been a hot topic, also catches my attention. Facing the crisis of divorce and family breakdown, the "son," a treasure of supreme status, is lovingly called, but the actual words are only commands and instructions. The parents only hope their wishes are fulfilled and show no interest in their child's self-esteem. I think this kind of approach is why problems arise with "today's kids" even in ordinary families. Ultimately, the drama ends with the loss of the son due to the couple's infidelity and conflicts.

The workplace culture in Korea is similar. Between superiors and subordinates, honorific and informal speech have been used based on rank or age. In the era of growth and efficiency pursuit, only orders and commands remained, and the culture of informal speech took root as a means. Some companies have adopted horizontal organizations, wall-less organizations, and "can culture," discarding rank titles as remnants of hierarchical consciousness. This was considered an advanced approach. The core of this attempt was to foster creativity by raising pride and self-esteem through informal respect. However, it is said that the side effects are rather significant.

The same goes for family matters. Parents want to raise their children well to be smart and outstanding wherever they go. However, they treat their children as possessions with the power of being parents. Although various efforts are made to raise children well, the results seem unsatisfactory. Whether in studies or social life, the starting point is the respect received at home.

What are the concrete actions of respect? I recalled a hint from an old public broadcast program and a book, so I looked it up. In a program called "The Law of Success in Marriage," a couple's extreme quarrel during driving practice was secretly filmed. Following the advice of a psychologist, they changed their informal speech to honorific speech, which had an immediate effect. A single word became an opportunity for mutual respect. Research on the effects and meanings of using honorific speech is abundant in psychology, neuroscience, and other fields.

Corporate culture also needs to level up. Korean society must overcome slanders like "kkondae," "latte," and "these days' kids," as well as political conflicts. As a method, I recommend the "honorific speech culture between superiors and subordinates." This means changing the culture to one based on unconditional respect, regardless of age-based organizational management. The core is a culture of informal yet respectful interaction between superiors and subordinates. Seniors should accept the positive aspects of juniors and subordinates in terms of knowledge flow and diversity. Juniors should harmoniously digest the seniors' experience and wisdom, which cannot be learned from books alone. I hope this applies to couples and parent-child relationships as well.

The honorific speech culture between superiors and subordinates! It is a rare national heritage worldwide.

As an addendum, existentialist philosopher Heidegger said, "Language is the house of being." Language is where existence dwells and the channel through which we perceive the world and things. Language goes beyond a means of communication; it governs and subjugates human thought. Humans do not wield language; language wields humans. I hope everyone finds happiness in the house of mutual honorific speech.

Park Chang-wook, CEO of Korea Knowledge Leader Association (Secretary General of Daewoo Global Management Research Association)

◆'What is Nudge Leadership?

- 'Nudge Leadership' is not a coercive or directive method but a small and gentle intervention or motivation that leads to change in organizations or individuals. It also means improving human relationships through small changes in oneself and transforming into someone others want to follow. Ultimately, it breathes creativity and passion into organizations or relationships, creating new value and happiness.