[SSG Nudge Leadership] "Appetizers First, Eat a Little Slower"

-Overcoming the Crisis of Divorce and the Appetizer of Meeting

Changwook Park, CEO of Korea Knowledge Leader Association (Secretary General of Daewoo World Management Research Association)

Although I have spent my entire life working in corporations and public interest foundations, I graduated from a college of education. Thanks to that, there was a required major course called 'Counseling.' It has already been 40 years, but I vaguely remember a counseling case the professor shared during class back then.

The story goes like this. A couple on the brink of divorce came to see the professor, and since it was time, they went out to eat together. However, seeing the husband eat very quickly, the professor said, "Please eat more slowly. Start with the appetizer first," and before parting, advised them to "think carefully about this advice." A few days later, the couple returned to the professor, saying they had withdrawn their thoughts of divorce and would try to live well, adding, "Your advice was a great help."

The professor explained that judging by the husband's hurried eating style, he could guess how their marital relations at night were. So, he advised them to start with an appetizer to whet their appetite, engage in conversation, and eat slowly. By taking this advice to heart and changing their conversations, meals, and marital relations, they were able to overcome the divorce crisis.

At the time, as a young third-year university student, I did not immediately understand the meaning, but it has been a recurring theme in my mind throughout my life. When forming relationships or having conversations between people, there is an order of 'introduction, development, turn, and conclusion.' However, I have lived in a way that jumps straight to the main point, using busyness as an excuse. When sitting at a meal, I would immediately put my spoon into the rice and stew. Because of this, I sometimes burned my mouth and seemed to have lived without truly tasting the food.

Then, how about work life? Especially, are conversations between superiors and subordinates only about work? Do serious conversations start from the very first meeting after arriving at work in the morning? In approvals, meetings, and work consultations, we seem to be living too hurriedly. How about starting with a light conversation over a cup of tea, like an appetizer at a meal? If possible, how about showing interest in health, hobbies, or even the condition of a subordinate's mother? If daily practice is difficult, how about starting the first workday of the week, Monday, this way? Such conversational efforts are virtues that colleagues or higher-ranking individuals should initiate.

Recently, due to the COVID-19 pandemic, telecommuting and flexible work schedules were inevitably implemented, but people are somewhat surprised at how smoothly companies are operating. They seem to be adapting quickly into organizations with high performance in a short time by actively utilizing the brilliantly developed ICT technology. What will the post-COVID-19 world be like? Even if invisible time increases and visible working hours decrease, to enhance organizational and work immersion and achieve results, it will be necessary to win the hearts of employees.

Let's find the answer in the appetizer of conversation. Sitting at the desk on Monday, say, "Team leaders, gather around. I brought some fruit I enjoyed yesterday. Let's share it with the prepared coffee." To a team leader who comes with an approval document after a long time, say, "Team Leader Kim, you look well. It seems the issue with your son was resolved well, right?" and ask once more. The next day, the team leaders will start conversations like this with other employees.

◆Changwook Park, CEO of Korea Knowledge Bridge (Secretary General of Daewoo World Management Research Association)

▲ February 1978 Graduated from Jinju High School

▲ February 1982 Graduated from Seoul National University College of Education, Department of Korean Language Education / Minor in Diplomacy

▲ February 2002 MBA in Marketing, Graduate School of Business, Yonsei University

▲ February 2006 - Present: CEO of Korea Knowledge Bridge

▲ July 2009 - Present: Secretary General of Daewoo World Management Research Association

▲ August 1985 - February 1997: Head of HR Department, Daewoo (currently POSCO International)

▲ November 1997 - February 2000: Head of Management Planning Department, Daewoo

◆What is 'Nudge Leadership'?

'Nudge Leadership' is not a coercive or directive oppressive method but leads organizational or individual change through small and gentle interventions or motivation. It also means improving human relationships through small changes by oneself and transforming into a person others want to follow. Ultimately, it breathes creativity and passion into organizations or relationships, creating new value and happiness.