[2020 New Year Project - Generational Coexistence, Building Society Together]
<7>To Marry or Not to Marry
Millennial and Z Generation Individualism Combined with Economic Challenges
Many Voluntary and Involuntary Non-Marriages
'Premarital Divorce' to Prevent Post-Marriage Conflicts
Worries About Old Age Across Generations
Desire for a World Without Discrimination... Demand for Social Safety Nets for Single-Person Households
[Asia Economy Reporter Seungjin Lee] Is marriage about love? Money? No, it's madness!
The tendency of the MZ generation pursuing non-marriage reflects an individualistic worldview and tight financial circumstances. The MZ generation collectively refers to the Millennials born from the early 1980s to the early 2000s and Generation Z born from the mid-1990s to the early 2000s.
However, the reality of not dreaming (or being unable) to marry creates a chain of value systems to rationalize their decision. The 'rational judgment' that marriage without preparation is madness is widely shared, and the demand that society (government) establish a safety net for single-person households is regarded as a 'reasonable right.' Meanwhile, distrust in welfare infrastructure circles back to an obsession with success, power, and money, and the MZ generation's sensitivity to performance, rights, privileges, and unfairness can be understood as a natural outcome.
◆"Have you seen housing prices? It kills the desire to marry"= MapoCatDaddy (33, male), who recently quit his job and is preparing for new employment, is close to an involuntary non-marriage advocate. Honestly, he doesn't mind whether he marries or not, but skyrocketing housing prices and a bank balance that barely grows have pushed him closer to non-marriage. MapoCatDaddy concluded, "The core of marriage is the economic union between partners." He added, "If one side is relatively less affluent, they will live trapped by inferiority complexes or victim mentality. Marriage cannot be based on love alone."
The tendency to prioritize 'economics over love' as the foremost condition for marriage seems to be common sense among the MZ generation, regardless of their economic ability. ChickenBreastSalad (34, male), who works at a large corporation, said, "Affection and personality are, of course, important. But ultimately, I think economic conditions determine marriage," adding, "With my current salary, I think I can live alone stably and comfortably." Judging marriage by whether it is economically beneficial is considered rational and the top priority.
The older generation also does not disagree with this value. SonMarryPlease (61, female), mother of a son in his early 30s, expressed frustration: "Looking at Seoul housing prices these days, it's really disheartening." She said, "I hope my son decides to get married, but I understand why he is scared because of the costs." However, she added, "Marriage isn't just about money; partners can fill in each other's shortcomings, and that can be a form of happiness... I feel sad that many young people, including my son, might miss out on other happiness because of money."
◆Another name for non-marriage: 'Pre-marital divorce'= Whether love or money, considering the prerequisites of marriage is ultimately about approaching 'happiness.' The MZ generation asks: Did the older generation's marriage view, represented by 'love and sacrifice,' truly lead to happiness? VitaminIsLacking (31, male), a fifth-year office worker, bluntly said, "Marriage is madness." "My parents, who fought repeatedly for decades, divorced as soon as I got a job. They endured until I was socially settled, fearing I might struggle, but growing up seeing that, how could I think about marriage?"
This is not just the family story of VitaminIsLacking. "Most people close to non-marriage grew up in families that were not harmonious. In that sense, I think the term 'pre-marital divorce' fits better than 'non-marriage' to prevent conflicts after marriage."
PoppyILoveYou (33, female), living alone in an officetel with her dog, also worries about conflicts and discord that might arise after marriage. She said, "Two of my friends have already divorced," and "I was shocked to see a friend who was ecstatic about marriage get divorced within a year due to conflicts with her in-laws." She added, "I am happy living with my dog now, and I enjoy my hobbies freely. I will never marry just for the sake of marriage as a 'process everyone must go through.'"
◆Non-marriage is respectable, but old age is worrisome= Although declaring non-marriage is confident, autonomous, and rational, there is no denying the concerns about the hardships that life may bring. PoppyILoveYou, who recently had the flu, said, "Lying alone with a high fever, I suddenly imagined 20 or 30 years from now," adding, "I was scared thinking about getting old, having an accident at home alone, or falling ill."
VitaminIsLacking, who firmly said "marriage is madness," also sometimes reconsiders non-marriage due to anxiety about old age. He said, "There will inevitably come a time when I get sick or lose my job and need someone to rely on," adding, "It's true that I feel anxious about whether I can handle everything alone."
Parents of children who do not marry share similar worries. SonMarryPlease said, "Now, while young and earning money, living alone might be happy. But when they get old and sick, family is ultimately the only support. My son treats these worries as nagging, which is sad."
If more people choose (or are forced into) non-marriage according to the times, the logical next step is building a social safety net for them. MapoCatDaddy analyzed, "The low birthrate problem our society faces demands a paradigm shift in how marriage and childbirth are viewed, not just superficial support like distributing childbirth subsidies." LifeIsBeautiful said, "Ultimately, the government must step up with concrete measures for job creation and paths to home ownership."
There were also calls for groundbreaking decisions, such as introducing a system similar to France's Pacte Civil de Solidarit? (PACs). Started in France in 1999, PACs recognizes cohabiting couples as family and applies the same social security system to children born to cohabitants. Through this, France raised its total fertility rate from 1.5 to 1.9.
PoppyILoveYou said, "I am close to non-marriage, but that doesn't mean I don't want to have children. I hope society stops discriminating against children born outside marriage. If that happens, whether today's generation chooses non-marriage or marriage, what big problem is there?"
※ The nicknames (pseudonyms) appearing in this article belong to real individuals who agreed to interviews on the condition of anonymity.
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