The Number One Cause of Marital Conflict You Didn't Know... It's Not Money or Family

The Top Reason Couples Argue: "Tone and Attitude"
Followed by Family Relationships, Household Chores, and Communication Styles

A survey has found that what may seem like minor issues?such as tone and attitude?are actually the biggest causes of marital conflict. Experts warn that even small changes in tone or attitude can deeply hurt one's partner and escalate into a crisis that shakes the entire marriage.

On June 8 (local time), CNBC in the United States reported on the main causes of marital conflict, citing analysis by psychologist Mark Travers. Dr. Travers, a relationship expert who studies psychology, analyzed and identified conflict factors based on a survey conducted by the online polling company YouGov, which involved 1,000 adults.

A survey revealed that the biggest cause of marital conflicts is "tone and attitude." The photo is a stock image to aid understanding of the article. Photo by Getty Images

According to the survey, the most common reason couples clash is "tone and attitude." This includes slightly raised voices, sarcastic remarks, and eye-rolling during conversations.

Dr. Travers advised, "In situations of conflict, it is important to specifically express to your partner, 'I feel bad when you say it that way. Could you say it again differently?'" He emphasized that seemingly trivial behaviors can be interpreted as disregard or mockery by one's partner and may leave deep emotional scars, so caution is necessary.

The second most common cause was "family relationships." Conflicts arising from issues related to a spouse's family or child-rearing typically occur when values differ. For example, if one partner seems more favorable towards their in-laws than the other, the other partner may feel left out. In families with children, disagreements over parenting styles also frequently lead to friction.

"Division of household chores" and "differences in communication styles" also ranked as major causes of marital conflict. The results of this survey show that beneath marital discord lies not just simple dissatisfaction, but an emotional need to be respected and understood. Tone, attitude, family relationships, household chores, and communication all ultimately stem from a desire for support from one's partner. Dr. Travers explained, "Most couples actually want the same thing. They want to feel loved and supported by each other," adding, "Conflicts begin when that is not properly communicated."