[Limelight] Speaking to Myself Trapped in Memory... Asking for Forgiveness

Movie 'France Woman' Mira role Kim Ho-jung

A journey of the self traveling between past and present, dream and reality... facing indelible wounds and seeking salvation

Painful memories overlapping with the protagonist, depicting emptiness as if telling my own story

Mira (Kim Ho-jung) sits in a cafe, looking out the window. Her face is full of worry. She is lost in silent concerns. When her friend Young-eun (Kim Ji-young) appears with coffee, she tries to act nonchalant.

"Unni, what have you been thinking about all this time?" "Nothing. Really." "I guess you still listen to your recordings these days." "You heard that?" "It's the habit you had when you first started learning French." "That's the most effective way." "You're good at French, so why not? You keep working hard."

This passage hints at the structure of the film French Woman. The movie irregularly shifts between present and past. Mira, who married a French man she met while studying in Paris, returns to Korea after a long time and meets her friends. However, every time she goes to the bathroom, she experiences d?j? vu, as if returning to the past. These are moments she wants to erase. She chases after the tails of memories.

"I had a strange dream last night." "A strange dream?" "Yeah, Haeran (Ryu Ah-bel) appeared in it." "Haeran?" "Yes. But she just stared at me. I don't know what it means." "Dreams are like that. How can you know their meaning?" "Exactly."

Mira feels sorry for Haeran. Before leaving for Paris, she spent a night with Haeran’s boyfriend, Sung-woo (Kim Young-min). She tried hard to forget the painful memory. But when she finds herself in the same situation as Haeran, she revisits the traces of regret. She grieves and suffers. Is it a reflection of remorse? Or an awakening of consolation? We asked actress Kim Ho-jung.

Here is the Q&A

- How did you perceive Mira’s journey?

I saw it as a process of being forgiven. Also as a time to find oneself. As I got older, there were times I felt shabby?about the years I had passed and the dreams I tried to achieve. Mira probably wanted to confirm that those were valuable. She hopes others think of her. Mira would be the same for others. For such relationships to be formed, forgiveness and reconciliation are necessary.

- Have you ever been trapped in memories like Mira?

In my late twenties. The fact that I had no work came as an unbearable pressure. I even found myself saying I wanted to die without realizing it. So I took my first trip. When filming the scene in French Woman where Mira looks into the mirror, I remembered that time a lot. I looked at my reflection in the glass and reflected on the days gone by.

- It’s a moment where the actor’s life passes through the acting.

That happens sometimes. The role and the heart connect, but it’s not easy to express. There’s a scene in French Woman where Mira visits the tree where her father is buried and confesses. I couldn’t even start speaking because I thought of my father. I had been so absorbed in theater that I neglected my family. I couldn’t even be there at my father’s deathbed. It remains an indelible regret. Looking at the tree, those emotions welled up inside me. I could express it through acting. But maybe because I approached Mira’s character too sensitively, I only felt sorry. I complained to director Kim Hee-jung about the pain and paused filming for a while.

- Since it’s a story touching consciousness at the crossroads of life and death, was it harder to express?

I think anyone could become Mira. Not many people realize that careless words can become wounds. Mira is a woman who belatedly recognizes her past mistakes and feels fear. She would have no choice but to desperately seek forgiveness.

- Since Mira was a role who dreamed of becoming an actress, was it easier to understand?

The first feeling I had when reading the script was emptiness. I filled my twenties with a passion for acting, but when I looked back, nothing was left. So I thought I just needed to portray it as if telling my own story. I shared many of my opinions with director Kim Hee-jung. Wearing underwear from home was also my idea. I bleached it with bleach to discolor it and then dyed it again. I think that alone created a unique image.

- You say the past feels empty, but I think you have accumulated rich experiences and deep maturity.

I guess I miss the days when I poured out passion like a mad person. As I got older, that gradually disappeared. So I endure with maturity. Actually, from my twenties to mid-thirties, not everything went smoothly. Many projects failed. I think I learned through pain and trials that working hard doesn’t always lead to good results. So I always try to keep my heart free.

- Do you often give this kind of advice to juniors you meet in movies or theater?

Almost never. Wouldn’t it be too sad if I only told good stories? I like honest conversations. But these days, juniors don’t talk about themselves much. They don’t show their emotions well either. At some point, I think I became like that too. We change together, I guess.