[Voices of the MZ Generation] The Importance of 'Relationships' Over Skills and Money

Even with Hundreds of Friends on Social Media,
Genuine and “Good Relationships” Are Rare
When Power Fades, People Disappear Too

For some time now, “relationships” have been treated as less important in our society. Instead of focusing on relationships, people are often told to concentrate on skills and money. Phrases like “Friends don’t feed you,” “Relationships follow honor and power,” and “There’s no need to forcibly maintain long-term relationships” have become common sense. Above all, relationships are seen as not cost-effective. People believe it is better to invest the time spent on relationships into exercise for “Godsaeng living,” side jobs, or managing social networking services (SNS). Many also feel that immersing themselves in financial technology or YouTube is more worthwhile.

However, the true goal in life might be to have “good relationships.” Living “meaningfully and warmly with good people” may be even more difficult than earning 10 billion won. In reality, many who have grasped wealth and power end up leaving life lonely. We see politicians whose relationships vanish like the tide once their power disappears. Meeting the good people I consider valuable throughout my life, forming precious relationships, and being able to part with them at the end of life is certainly a “blessed” life.

But recently, relationships in society have become increasingly superficial and light. Even if you register hundreds of friends on SNS, the number of people with whom you can share sincerity is few. The reason for feeling lonely amid many relationships is the lack of genuine communication. The depth of a relationship arises when people become honest with each other. When we begin to share our long-standing wounds or true life concerns, we give a part of ourselves to others. Becoming intertwined in this way marks the beginning of a true relationship.

Good relationships are not formed simply by meeting many people. Genuine relationships do not arise by accommodating just anyone. Rather, they begin to form when even a small number of people start to face each other’s true selves little by little. Sometimes the other person adjusts to me, and sometimes I understand the other person; when we accept each other’s imperfections, we enter into a relationship.

Sometimes, being particular is necessary for true relationships. Trying to get along well with everyone can easily lead to being drained by exhausting relationships. It is important to sort out relationships with people who try to use me or have a negative influence. The clearer my values and life standards are, the more naturally the right people remain by my side. Being particular is not about rejecting relationships but a process to keep precious people close.

People often say, “You shouldn’t be picky about people.” Of course, it is useful to build broad social relationships at times, but true relationships are formed by carefully selecting and filtering. It is not easy to find relationships where people genuinely respect each other, learn from each other, and find meaning in each other. However, once you pass through that narrow gate and begin to form valuable relationships with someone, that person can truly become precious to you.

If, at the last moment of life, you can say, “I had good people by my side,” that will be a life without regrets. More than dazzling success, relationships with people who understand and support me make life meaningful. Even in an era that measures the cost-effectiveness of relationships, seeking genuine relationships remains a valuable goal.

Jung Ji-woo, Cultural Critic & Lawyer